"Ross Kraz" (ropstafer)
09/13/2016 at 09:56 • Filed to: what car is that nfl player, what car is that player
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"Ross Kraz" (ropstafer)
09/13/2016 at 09:56 • Filed to: what car is that nfl player, what car is that player | 1
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Sometimes I wonder if cars could hypothetically play professional football. Other times, I’m actually being productive with my life. But for now, let’s look at the former. It’s a lot more fun.
DeAndre Hopkins: Ford Focus RS
Photo credits: footballperspective.com, Road and Track
The Focus RS isn’t all that big, but it is powerful, nimble, and one of the most exciting cars available today. It has a button for something called “drift mode”; how cool is that? I could watch the RS shred its tires on a track for hours. The same goes for DeAndre Hopkins. He’s a walking highlight reel on and
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.
Philip Rivers: Nissan NV Passenger Van
Photo credits: CBS Sports, cars.com
With seating for 12, it’s the only vehicle that could possibly fit his entire !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
Donald Stephenson: Chevy Silverado
Photo credits: Denver Post, Jalopnik
Stephenson can move around a lot of mass, like a truck. He also left rival Kansas City to join the reigning Super Bowl champs this offseason. The Silverado has trailed the F-150 in sales for years. Additionally, and despite a large marketing campaign against it, Chevy has !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that the truck’s future involves an aluminum body just like the Ford’s.
Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Kenny Stills: “Funny Car” Top Fuel Dragster
Photo credits: FOX Sports, dragracingonline.com
Kenny Stills ran a 4.28 second 40-yard-dash at the combine and is a deep threat whenever he’s on the field. He’s really fast in a straight line, just not really good for anything else.
Ryan Fitzpatrick: A Lease
Photo credits: sportingnews.com, Jalopnik
The Jets didn’t want to make a long term commitment to Fitzpatrick this off-season and signed him to just a one year deal. That’s sort of like leasing a vehicle; it’s a trial run. If it ends up being a lemon, you can just get something better when the contract is up.
On the other hand, you’ve just thrown a lot of money at something that doesn’t build equity for any future plans. If you want to keep it, it’s going to cost you even more.
Of course, in this case, they are leasing a vehicle that was new in 2005 and is pre-owned !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
Mark Davis: Youabian Puma
Photo credits: AP Images, Top Gear
That is one ugly sunnovabitch.
Josh Gordan: Grey-market import Skyline
Photo credits: clevelandbrowns.com, Road and Track
Due to some
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, these two were banned for a long time. But now, they’re back and they’re legal. We know they were good before, but it’s time we find out if they still measure up to our high expectations.
DeMarco Murray: Land Rover
Photo credits: sportingnews.com, classiccarstodayonline.com
Ahh, Land Rover: the iconic company that gets passed around by larger companies like a doobie at a Dave Matthews concert. Ownership has moved between British Leyland, BMW, Ford, and now Tata Motors.
Murray starts his new campaign as part of the Titans organization, his third team in as many years. It’s only a matter of time until these two get moved again in order to meet fiscal targets.
One thing is for certain, though: they will continue to kick ass no matter where they are.
Vontaze Burfict: A Volkswagen Diesel
Photo credits: ESPN, Fortune
Simply put: the
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players in their respective games.
What car would your favorite player be?
S65
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:00 |
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????
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Ross Kraz
> S65
09/13/2016 at 10:07 |
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?????!
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S65
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:09 |
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????!!!!
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Ross Kraz
> S65
09/13/2016 at 10:11 |
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????!!!!
!!!?????!!!!?
Tekamul
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:12 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
It’s awesome. The best ever. Everybody knows it, even if they don’t admit it. The look. The performance. Always holds (and builds) value.
But then along comes the same thing, but newer. Same looks, but younger. Strong performance, lower price versus trying to relive the past. Less upkeep costs. Very low miles.
It’s not time to book a spot at Barrett-Jackson just yet, but maybe Belichick wants to thumb through a couple old Hemmings Motors mags for some ideas.
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S65
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:14 |
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111???????
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Ross Kraz
> Tekamul
09/13/2016 at 10:17 |
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Well done. I was going to do Garoppolo as a newer model year of car, too.
But hey, you sure it will stay cool? Doesn’t seem like there’s enough air...
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Tekamul
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:24 |
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I was very specifically trying to avoid a deflation joke. But there it is.
Moves-Like-Senna
> Ross Kraz
09/13/2016 at 10:26 |
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Colin Kaepernick
That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms
> Tekamul
09/13/2016 at 10:28 |
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I was going to say there isn’t a car that we universally call “the best car” for Tom Brady, but I think you got as close as you can get. I would have also accepted calling him Audi’s Le Mans program.
What's a car that was always REALLY good, but not quite as good as the 911 except for maybe one year it was better? Because that car would be Peyton Manning.